The Rhythm of Our Days

This one may reveal her inner rocker-chick, or her forlorn country girl….

It’s called, “I Love you Baby!” and was on the kitchen table when I got up this morning.

If I loved you would you love me back?

Inside you were never-

found you crawling in bugs

I wanted you to be with me but

you said you hated me,

it hurt me so bad, so bad…

coulnd’t git away from the payne!

I love you baby…

git out of the dirt,

you give me so much grief!

I am now a tough woman!

Please baby love, love, love me…

I’ve loved you for so long,

But I will tell you what I love you so much I could leave you behind!

So many people leave the children behind.

But I love you, you, you, ooo, ooo, ooo!

Firstborn: reading about Persia, working with stencils, re-adjusted his tree house, reading Harry Potter again.

Sunshine: knows how to make quesadillas completely by herself now, working with stencils, wrote a beautiful poem, is feeling angsty.

W: never walks…only runs. can spell some simple words. Colors beautifully, indicating his fine motor skills are improving. Going through the “six year old anger” phase.

Phat Baby: who really doesn’t get called this much anymore….loves sound effects while playing busy beads. Loves trains. Loves crashing glass ornaments into the wall.

If we follow along with Ambleside, and add some kind of non-obtrusive, small-but-capable printer to the shopping list to print the stories out upon, we may have a spine.

I think I’ve decided to stay with Singapore for Math. Need books all around for that.

The art supplies all need refurbishing and we definitely need to get back to nature study. Art and music happen easily.

Some friends suggested the kids start a business and that sounds like a cool idea.

Basically, the answer to prayer I received was “it’s not about how to do less, but MORE.” So, with that, and still while trying to figure out exactly what all that can mean, I”m going to bed earlier, getting up earlier, getting dressed early, taking over morning chores before the kids get up, and hoping to have my “game face” on before they are at the breakfast table. I need to quit trying to multi-task and start being in each moment more. Scheduled times for writing, painting, working, etc.

I also need to take care of “me” better. Maybe end the year-long date fast dh and I have tried to cope with. And find some time for scrapbooking again. Some kind of break out, even if it’s just to grocery shop alone.

It’s a start anyway. Burn out happens but as we learn from our wood stove daily, another fire can be built.

Several times I’ve had a blog post in my head, a learning moment to share, a photo….

but I also have an overwhelming angst about education right now that clouds it out. That makes me avoid this blog with a passive-aggressive procrastination.

Night school with dad hasn’t worked out. It’s been two years since we made a major curriculum purchase and I think we’ve maxed out “using what we have”.  I don’t want to sit and spend hours upon hours putting together a curriculum and the older two have too much time on their hands. Firstborn especially needs more structure and I’m out of ideas.

Co-op is over for the season and tutoring is still going on. Finding out what to do next is THE topic of the month. I need a game plan. I need a budget.  I need a clone.